How Could This Happen To Me?
by draurora17
Summary: A few of the Arthur's and Merlin's thoughts and feelings during the episode “The Poisoned Chalice” SLASHY CONTENT. Arthur/Merlin Pairing.


**Title**: **How Could This Happen To Me?****  
****Author**: ms_pendragon  
**Warnings**: Slash  
**Rating**: Oh, I don't know. PG-13 for the end, I guess.  
**Characters/Pairings**: Arthur/Merlin  
**Summary**: A few of the boys' thoughts and feelings during "The Poisoned Chalice"  
**Disclaimer**: The Merlin characters and the plot of "The Poisoned Chalice" belong to the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended. I don't own the story or the song.  
**Word Count**: 943  
**Author's Note**: Written to lyrics of Simple Plan's "How Could This Happen To Me." Please comment. It's unbetad and I'm new to this, but I hope you like it!

*I can't explain what happened*

Merlin saw Arthur's look of relief and although it had cost him more humiliation, he couldn't help but feel glad that Arthur hadn't taken a sip from the chalice himself. Then he saw Arthur's expression melt into one of disapproval. Merlin sighed. If only it were that simple.

*I can't erase the things that I've done* As Arthur remembered to breathe after Merlin's little… outburst, he saw something change in his features. Merlin looked up at him, and Arthur's heart fell the length of the cliff he would later face. His worst fear was realised when in horror he watched Merlin's hand go to his throat and he began to choke.*How could this happen to me*

He was right: the chalice had been poisoned. Through the agony, he could see Arthur's eyes widen. He was infinitely thankful that this fate was his, and not Arthur's. As he fell to the floor, his consciousness faded. The last thing he saw was Arthur's face inches from his, the warmth of his body so close and yet so devastatingly far away.

*I've made my mistakes*

Arthur desperately searched for signs of life, but none were evident. Merlin was taken to Gaius' house, and Arthur returned alone to his quarters. He still could not believe what had happened… what Merlin had done. To prove his point? Or - there was a glimmer of hope - did Merlin still want to protect him after all he had said? After the sacking and the humiliation, did Merlin really… _care_?

_*Got nowhere to run*_

Merlin lay, barely alive, wondering how he had managed to attract so much trouble in the short time he had spent at Camelot. He was aware though that this was by far the most dangerous situation he had found himself in. He reasoned that, had he not reacted that day when he had spoken his mind to the young prince, he would be safe and almost certainly more alive than he was now. On the other hand, if he had kept quiet, he wouldn't have been made a manservant in the royal household, and (worst of all) he would never have met Arthur. He had an overwhelming urge to laugh as he found himself hoping that the young heir wasn't troubled by the whole business. "Of course he's not worried about you, idiot."

_*The night goes on*_

Arthur had convinced himself it was an _informed _decision as he rode out into the dark landscape. He knew what flower Gaius needed, and he was old enough to know what he was doing. What he couldn't figure out when he walked into the cave behind the pretty girl was _why._

_*As I'm fading away*_

Merlin could sense with the diminishing remnants of his life force that Arthur was in mortal danger. His magic burned through the fever, and he summoned the light to guide Arthur. Merlin could feel his thoughts, but above all he knew his fear. _"Even kings get scared, Arthur." _He thought. _"Now get out of there, I won't leave you until you're safe." _

_*I'm sick of this life*_

Arthur pulled himself onto the ledge and looked down. He saw an impossible number of huge spiders approaching. He looked up at the light. It was so beautiful, and yet as he watched it he felt that it was strangely familiar. He followed it because somehow he knew that it would never harm him. He felt exhausted. He kept walking into trouble and he almost wanted to give up, but he thought of Merlin and everything seemed to make sense.

_*I just want to scream*_

Merlin writhed on the bed. _"Get out, Ar… Arthur. Just go…" _He could tell that the spiders were gaining on him, and he wanted to be there with Arthur, to cry out at him to keep climbing faster. Merlin was close to delirium when suddenly all was calm. Arthur had made it out of danger and all was well. The light faded and Merlin sighed.

_*How could this happen to me?*_

"_Merlin_" Arthur breathed, standing in the doorway. He entered the room. "Still alive then?" he said, walking towards the pale figure wrapped in a blanket. Merlin looked around.

"Just about. I understand I have you to thank for that"

Gaius cleared his throat. "I'm just going to buy some more ingredients. I should be back later." And he left, smiling to himself.

When the door was shut, Arthur turned back to the young warlock.

"It was you, wasn't it Merlin?"

"Wh… what was me?"

"Come on, I won't tell a soul. I just want to know the strange light in the cave, the one that… that saved my life. It was you." Arthur persisted.

"Arthur, I - yeah, it was. I'm glad you made it. If it hadn't been for your speed and agility though, sire…"

"Merlin, are you being sarcastic or are you just talking rubbish as usual?"

Merlin looked down at his shoes in silence.

Arthur's feelings fought with each other and he decided to take one more risk. He lifted Merlin's face and bent down to brush his lips with as tender a kiss as the arrogant but nervous young prince could manage. Unwillingly, he ended the kiss and straightened up. Merlin stood to face him, letting the blanket drop to the floor. For a moment, they looked into each other's eyes, trying to discern what might happen. Neither knew quite what they were doing, but neither wanted to stop. As if a spell had been broken, Merlin leaned up and captured Arthur in a searing kiss.

_*I can't explain what happened*_


End file.
